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Guest Post: Top 3 Funniest Wedding Speeches!

Naturally, the bride and the groom should be (and usually are) at the center of every wedding. But that doesn’t mean that other things can’t have their spotlight! For example, wedding speeches are often something guests are looking forward to, especially since there’s a good chance that whoever’s giving the speech is either completely smashed or has a good sense of humor.

Either way, we’ve decided to save you the trouble of doing a snapchat celebrity search while looking for hilarious toasts by finding the top three funniest wedding speeches you can find on the internet.

Photo Source: Wedding Card Message

  1. Gino on Rollerblades

It takes a lot of effort to come up with a wedding speech that includes a funny anecdote about either the bride or the groom (or both), but ultimately ends on a romantic note. Nonetheless, this guy managed to do it!

Photo Source: Woman Getting Married

It’s Gino’s wedding, and his best man Bob is giving a toast: “Hi everybody, I’m Bob. I’m Gino’s best man #2. At first I felt bad, but then I remembered there were five other guys in the bridal party who are not the best man. So, I met Gino at the very first week of college. I was walking out of my dorm room with a buddy who will remain nameless because he’s here. We look to our left and we see this guy – he has any boy’s regular perfect haircut, completely gelled to the side. Hockey night in Boston, polo shirt tucked into mesh shorts – hold on, hold on – tube socks, and he’s rollerblading.”

After the crowd comes down from laughing hysterically, Bob continues: “I couldn’t even believe an adult male thought rollerblading was an acceptable form of transportation at that age, but Gino did. I thought that even at this school, he isn’t gonna lose his virginity. Fast forward to now and here he is – marrying this beautiful girl and showing us all what love truly looks like. Thank you.” Needless to say, all guests cheered and applauded.

2. How I Became Best Man

Sometimes you don’t even need to have a whole funny speech if your opening line is hilarious enough. For example, this guy knew how to hook the audience only to deliver a really witty punchline that left everyone in tears of laughter.

Photo Source: Write a Writing

The best man starts: “[The groom] and I have been friends for a long time, but he had some trouble finding a best man. He first asked his richest friend to be his best man, but he said no. Then he asked his funniest friend to be his best man, but he said no. He then asked his best-looking friend to be the best man but even he said no. Then he asked me and, after turning him down the first three times, I couldn’t refuse again.”

3. Reading Between the Lines

Your whole opening isn’t required to have any jokes in order for the speech to be funny if your very first sentence is an unexpected and a hilarious one. After doing some extensive searching, here’s one of the best one-liners we’ve found in a wedding speech.

Photo Source: The Plunge

The bride’s brother, who had terrible stage fright and was very nervous when he got up to give the speech, started with: “I was nervous about this speech so I just prepared a few lines. After snorting them, I got to work with the writing.” The crowd was laughing so hard they had to take a 2-minute break just to catch a breath – that’s how powerful an opening line to a funny wedding speech can be.

Submitted by: Stefan Simonović

Stefan works as a Content Outreach Manager at First Beat Media, that mainly focuses on the online dating niche and similar services.

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