Bridesmaids are not only the privileged lot who have received the honor of being part of a bride’s inner circle, but are also the girls who are going to tolerate her during the most special day of her life.
No, she won’t ask you to brainstorm about floral decor for her wedding at 3am, nor would she ask you to shell out $300 for your own dress, which you might not even wear ever again. What she will ask you though, is to lend her a hand, throw her one heck of a bachelorette party and show some interest in a whole lot of other things.
Photo Source: Michael Anthony Photography
Still not sure about what’s expected of you as a bridesmaid? We’ve come up with 5 commandments for being your girlfriend’s best lady in the lead up to her wedding.
- Positive Mindset
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Girls are hard to deal with sometimes. We get into conflicts which spiral into senseless catfights, until we wonder, what is life without our bestie!?
Instead of involving yourself in that futile cycle of drama, especially during your friend’s big celebration, go into the wedding preparations with a positive attitude. Whether the bride vents about the color of the napkins (aquamarine, not teal!), bitches about the groom’s best friend’s sister’s irritating mother (how dare she suggest brownies when I said cupcakes?!), or insists the bridesmaids wear those hideous slime green dresses, it is your job to grab her a cup of coffee, calm her down, and wear whatever will make her happy. You may never know, orange might just be the color for you!
Photo Source: Andrea Lee Photography
Wedding shopping, addressing invites, putting together favors, planning the bridal shower, working out, collecting the bridesmaid dresses… the list of wedding preparations doesn’t seem to end. If that seems a lot to you, imagine what the bride must be going through. As a bridesmaid, it is your duty to help make decisions, help host pre-wedding celebrations, and help in any other way the bride may ask you to (within reason).
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This responsibility can be a little tricky; your acts of service might be boundless, but your wallet… well, let’s just say that might have a few more restrictions. As a bridesmaid, you might be expected to spend on a few things, like your dress, accommodation and any transportation costs to the venue. You may also have to chip in for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. However, if you are on a tight budget, let the bride know from the beginning. It would avoid serious awkwardness later, and she might even be able to find a host for you. When planning the bridal shower or bachelorette party, keep the expenses in control by suggesting a budget or getting creative with the preparations. Don’t be shy; there are bound to be other bridesmaids on a budget who would definitely be grateful.
- Be present
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Being chosen to be one of the bridesmaids is an honor. The bride clearly considers you a close friend and wants to involve you in her Big Day. Hence, try your best to attend most of the pre-wedding celebrations, be it the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, bridal shower or some other celebration. Of course, if you have a major scheduling conflict, like your graduation day, or the day of your baby’s delivery, you are excused to skip.
- The wedding day
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While the bridesmaid’s role is integral in the pre-wedding celebrations, her presence is vital on the Big Day too. It is going to be an emotional and stressful day for her so be there to calm her down, help her through any last minute arrangements, and make sure she looks and feels beautiful and confident. Stay by her side and ensure she doesn’t need anything, whether it be water, a hug, or a bathroom break. Dance at the wedding, give her a toast, and be there for the bouquet toss. Even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone or participating in a tradition you always ridiculed, put her first on her momentous day.
Oh, and don’t forget your most important duty: enjoy yourself (even if it is only when the bride is looking)!
Submitted by: Tanvi Chadha